Life continues, through the hard times, and through the good. Some good, nice, and happy things have been happening lately, which helps me get through the bad and hard times. However things are more stressful than ever!
I still have not been able to find a job. A job is not what I want, but I don’t see a way around it. Many people do not seem to understand the desire to stay home, a job, a career seems to be what society measures success by, but I just don’t feel that. I want to be able to stay home with my kids, to be here always for them, to keep house, to do all those things that seem to slip by me when I’m working. I think it’s hard for other people to understand being a single parent as well. You don’t always have the option of requesting days off to attend school programs or such things, you don’t always have the option of the days off work that you want, or to work the hours that you want, so that you can spend the time you want with the kids. Sometimes you don’t always have the option of the babysitter that you really like, or even the option to take a day off when you’re sick, because you simply can’t afford to. People don’t even, in my opinion, know how stressful and desparate you feel when you are out of work. Oh, I know that 2 parent households feel financial strain too, but when you are the only one, and then you have no job, it’s scary, stressful, and even heart-breaking in a way. You wonder what is to become of your family, because you don’t have money to pay rent, or the electric bill, let alone to take your kids out to ice cream once in awhile, or be able to pay for swimming lessons, or any of the other things that you want to do for your child, but just can’t.
Being a parent is hard, whether you are single or not, but I truly believe that it’s at least 10 times harder when you know that you are alone in your parenting. You have no one to vent your frustrations to, or someone to cry on their shoulder when you are just so stressed because you don’t know how you’re going to keep a roof over your children’s heads. You have no one to help you take out the trash, or cook once in awhile, or run an errand for you. It’s all on you, and it’s hard.
Since childhood I’ve always wanted to play piano, but never had the opportunity to learn. I can’t even say that I’d have any real talent for it, as I’m not really the artistic type, but I love music so much that I had dreams of making my own music. Silly childhood dreams I suppose, but it’s always been close to my heart. Des has taken an interest in singing, another love of mine though I only sing at home. I’m kind of hoping that one of the girls takes an interest in music, because I love it so much, but if they don’t it’s okay. I will help them pursue their dreams to the best of my ability.
She couldn’t count the times when someone had tried to use colon cleanse products as a way around treatment. She couldn’t say she blamed them, and they were good products in their own right, but when you needed something more, well then you needed something more. She didn’t like have treatments or procedures done any more than anyone else, even though she was a Doctor herself, but to care for ones one health was important, not to deny that there was something wrong.
She would be ever so grateful always for the first life insurance lead that she had gotten years ago. Insurance wasn’t her dream, but it did pay the bills, and that’s what was important at this point. She had never known what she wanted to do, what she wanted to be, so she had kind of floated along for awhile, until the insurance job. She had been there for years now, and she was good enough at it that she could pay her bills, and still have some money for extras, which was always nice.
