Rambling

Wow, two personal entries from me in one day…the world must be ending….or well more likely is that I’m feeling marginally better and am in the mood to get some work done.

In any case we have a busy weekend planned. The girls both have a soccer game in the morning, and than we will go out to my sister and Dad’s place to have Desiree’s birthday party. We always have the parties on the weekends, so that Dad can be here, without having to request special time off work.

Sunday we head to a nearby town to have another birthday party with the other grandparents and family. We are doing a combination party for both Des and Meg, since we did not reconnect with this family until after Meg’s birthday had already passed. It will be the first time in 7 years that the grandparents have had a birthday party with the girls, which means that Meg has never had a party with the grandparents.

Be sure to scroll down to the entry I did for Desi’s birthday, and wish her a happy birthday!!!

*HUGS* to all my friends, and know that I’m still surviving. IM me, who knows, I might be in the mood to talk. Love you all!!!

Commercial Real Estate

I really don’t know much about commercial real estate, nor do I really have any desire to know much about it. My heart’s desire is to work from home, and therefore have no desire to be looking into a business for sale. I’ve had thoughts of opening my own business, and as much as I like the thought of being my own boss, and could be with the college classes I’m taking, I would not want to keep business hours, and therefore am better off working from home.

Did any of this make sense? As I typed it, I thought it sounded pretty good, but now that I’m at the end, it sounds kind of confusing..

Healthy Cooking

Healthy cooking is something that I really don’t know much about. I know that if you bake something, it’s healthier than frying things. I wish I knew more about healthy cooking as I’m sure it would be a benefit to my family, and it would be something that would benefit the girls for a lifetime. Maybe I’ll pick something up here and there as we go. Right now I’m just looking for different recipes and kind of getting back in the swing of cooking in general.

Diet Pills

There have been very few times when I have not been over-weight, at least according to the general population. The use of diet pills has been tempting over the years, and yet I still consider the use of them kind of counter productive. Okay, so you take these pills, lose weight and than stop taking them….If you don’t change how you live, won’t you just put the weight back on??

Thanks, I’ll stick to trying to get more exercise, and trying to eat healthier food.

Desi’s Birthday

Happy Birthday Baby!!!

A little late, as her birthday was the 23rd, but that does not change what I want to say.

9 years ago the most precious gift was give to me by God. She was so tiny to me. 7 pounds even, 20 inches long….Not really a small baby, but she seemed as if I would break her. I looked at her and could not even imagine her growing up.  I remember being so scared!!! I hadn’t been around babies at all growing up, so I really had no idea what to do!! I was so afraid that people wouldn’t think that I was a good parent, and I soooo wanted to be the best parent possible!!!

As the years have passed I have looked on in wonder at this beautiful little girl, that is growing into a beautiful young lady. I remember so many moments of Des growing up, first steps, first time riding a bike, first words…and there are still so many firsts to come…I am sad that those years are gone, but so excited about what is to come….I have seen my girl with food from head to toe (literally), when she was first learning how to feed herself, with a silly little grin saying “I’ve got it now, Mom!”. I have seen her bursting with pride when she finally GOT riding a bike with no training wheels. I have seen her crying when she got hit in the head with a soccer ball, but going right back on the field to try again. I have seen her sick, and held her when she was puking. She has been cuddled up with me in bed or on the couch when she has been sick, or scared, or just wanted cuddle time. These may not seem like anything really special to anyone else, but they are to me.

I can’t really say where I am going with this entry, I just wanted to share some of these memories, as I know some of you will know what I mean, and I wanted to try (without much success) to convey how I feel about my baby.

 It seems she is growing up much too fast and yet every day is a precious moment. She is so smart, and funny. Beautiful inside and out. Caught between wanting to be a kid and wanting to grow up.

Baby girl, I love you with all of my heart and I always will!!! Every time you hug me, or tell me that you love me, touches me. You make me feel like the best Mom in the world!! I could not have asked for a better daughter, despite the issue that we have sometimes!!! I hope that you continue to think of me as your best friend!! You are my light, my darling, my reason for living!!!

I hope this has been a good birthday for you, and I wish you the happiest of lives!! Remember that I love you!!

Recipes

I’m not much of a cooking person. I can do it okay, but just don’t enjoy it all that much. However when cooking I almost always need to have recipes, as I would be lost without them. I don’t mind deviating from the recipe, by adding more of something, or a little less of something, and sometimes I do add things that aren’t even on the recipe, but I need that base recipe to work off of.

Halloween Invitations

Our Halloween plans don’t amount to much, as I’m sure some of you are glad to hear…*LOL*…Halloween is such a controversial subject, and I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure where I stand on the subject. But the facts boil down to the fact that we won’t be sending out Halloween invitations, because we don’t have money for a party…I’m not even sure that I will have money for costumes for the girls. We’ll have to wait and see.

Chicago Accident Attorney

Being a Chicago accident attorney was a far cry from the tough criminal stuff that he had always dreamed of doing….but you had to take what you could get…right?? He was making good money, he didn’t have the stress of having his own practice, had steady income, didn’t have to put in all the man-hours that were necesary for criminal cases.

Drug Treatment

Being here in this place for drug treatment wasn’t exactly what she had had in mind, but she had to admit that drug rehab wasn’t really so bad. It was something even she herself could admit that she had needed, still needed in fact. Her mother had been her saving grace in this matter….After only a few months of drug use, her mother had laid it out flat to her…she would go to rehab, and she would stay and get clean…There were no if’s, and’s or but’s…That was the way her mother was….She herself had obeyed, because that was how she was raised…you obeyed your parents, no matter how old you were….and it had been what was best for her.

Depressed

Not only am I depressed about having to go back to work, now we add in depressed that I haven’t been able to find a job!!! Stressed out so badly right now….wondering what I’m going to do, how I’m going to keep a roof over my girls’ heads…Oh I know I’ll figure out something…we’ll survive this somehow, we always do….but I’m still stressed and depressed right now.

It’s almost 5am, no sleep again tonight….Can’t tell you when I’ve slept more than a couple of hours…That’s what stress does to me, and stress outweighs the depression, that has me wanting to sleep all the time to avoid the world.

To top it all off, Meg has been saying for days that her left eye hurts…I didn’t think much of it, but she continues to say it, so have to make a Dr.’s appointment for her tomorrow….and I have had a small bump on the side of my neck for years, but recently it has become tender to the touch, so guess I need to get that checked out….

I’m grouchy and irritable because I’m stressed, and I quit smoking a few days ago…*sigh* Like now was the time to quit!!! I’m just so worried right now, and scared, and not understanding why nobody seems to be taking a second look at my resume!!! I mean, I have a decent work history, I’m qualified for several different positions, I’m reliable or at least as reliable as a single parent can be….I know God has something in store for me, when HIS time is right, but I have to wonder what I”m supposed to tell the bill collectors in the mean time!!!

*sigh* Well I guess I’m going to get out of here…maybe see if I can lay down until the Dr.’s office opens…Need to go turn in some more resumes later today, if the Dr doesn’t hold us up too much. If you could keep my family in your prayers…it would be very much appreciated!!! Thank you for thinking of us!!!