Wow, that would usually be a title that my sister would use, but that is how I feel right now…I have so many things running through my head right now.

With any luck I will be taking my mid-term test this morning. Was hoping to have it done a week ago, but things didn’t go as planned. Than we had it set up to take Monday morning, but again things went haywire….I just hope and pray that things go according to plan this morning, because I REALLY want to get it done and out of the way!!! I am soooooooo nervous!!! Realistically I “know” that I will be fine, and should pass with flying colors, but there is that ever-present fear of failing. Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes.

I want to thank the people that have commented on Meg’s latest post!! She will be thrilled, and I will try to help her get around and comment back to people.

The girls are in SOOOOOOOOOOOO much trouble!!!! Yesterday evening they asked if they could go outside and play. I said yes, but stay in the front yard. They said they would…..Anyway, about 15 minutes later I go out to check on them, and they are no where in sight….I call and call, but to no avail….I start to get a little worried, but not much….I walk around the house, and than walk up and down the block looking for them, still calling for them….No sign of them still…..Okay, now I’m panicing!!!! I run back to the house and grab my keys and phone and drive around the block, still no sign of them…..I call a friend of mine that lives just 2 blocks away, thinking that perhaps the girls had gone there….She wasn’t home, but said she hadn’t seen them….by this time, I’m completely freaking out!!! I drive by one side of the park, while my friend drives by the other side, she calls home to make sure the girls hadn’t shown up there….Again, I’m freaking!!!!…I drive around our block again and spot the girls in my front yard….I pull in, and well, we’ll just gloss over what happens next….I’m crying because I was so scared, and so relieved to find them…but I am so mad at them!!! Anyway, they are upset because they had seen me drive off….I ask them where they were….they were across the street at our neighbor’s house, helping her do some planting in her back yard. There would have been no problem, had I known that’s where they were….but I didn’t, and they didn’t have permission to go over there. I still wonder how they could not have heard me calling for them!! I mean, I’m not exactly a quiet person, especially when I start getting upset or scared!!! Anyway, all is well…..

I don’t think they will ever realize how badly they scared me!!! I mean, you hear stories of kids being snatched from their front yards all the time, and truth be told, no matter how “safe” my small town is, those are the thoughts I had running through my head….That and perhaps their biological father came and snatched them away from me. Neither thought is very realistic around here, but realistic enough to go through my head!! I was so scared!!! Even now, thinking of how I couldn’t find them, brings tears to my eyes, and makes my heart pound!! In any case, they were very sorry for scaring me, sorry enough that I really believed they meant their apologies!! However, this does NOT excuse the fact that they COMPLETELY disobeyed me, as I had told them to stay in the front yard, nor does it excuse the fact that they KNOW they are NEVER to go ANYWHERE without telling/asking me if it’s okay!!!! Last night they were made to sit in their room, hopefully reflecting on the error of their ways…as well as banned from being outside without an adult!!!!

It bothers me though….that I can’t trust them to carry out the simplest of instructions, like “stay in the front yard”!!! I mean, we aren’t talking about babies here!!! They are 8 and 1/2 and 7 years old!!! Am I expecting too much of them?? What am I doing wrong in gaining their respect and obedience?? I just don’t know….and I don’t know what to do!!! Perhaps my memory is faulty, but I sure don’t remember disobeying such things at that age. Did I Dad?

Okay, enough dwelling on last nights events….It’s making me scared all over again….hmm, what else can I talk about??

Oh, here’s one….ANTS!!!!!! My house, like most others here in this town have been invaded with ants!! They are everywhere!!! They are what are called Sugar Ants, which I have issues with that name, because they are places where sugar is not present!! *LOL* They are present in every room in my house, on almost everything in my house!!! It’s maddening I tell you!!! Anybody got a good solution, aside from an exterminator?? Something that is safe for kids and pets as well!!

The girls have been a big help around the house lately!! Acouple of days ago, Desi folded laundry without being asked!! And yesterday Meg did the dishes, and Des folded more laundry…I did have to tell them to do it, but they did it without complaint!! Last week, Des vacuumed like 3 times, again, without being told. I think she is finding that she likes doing stuff around the house, and helping me, of which I am so happy, and proud!!! There help is something I’ve been striving for, for quite awhile now, and I am so proud that they (especially Des) are starting to realize how much I need and appreciate their help!! Meg is a little slower in doing….I pretty much have to tell her what she needs to do, and even then sometimes she dallys doing it, I think in hopes that Des will do it for her….but she’s coming a long. Getting her to do things without complaining is a good start!!! And I have put a stop to Des doing for her. Like yesterday when Meg did the dishes, I told Meg that she needed to put the dishes away…and she kept asking Des to help. Well I told her and Des both, that Des would help put away the things that Meg can’t reach, but that Meg needed to put away what she could, because that is part of doing the dishes, and Des had done her chore of folding AND putting away laundry, so it wasn’t fair for Des to have to do Meg’s chore too…Meg understood, and finished putting away the dishes without another word, well except for her non-stop chattering!! *LOL*

I have such good girls, and I am so proud of them!!! Yes, even with the problems, like yesterday, I still feel that they are awesome girls!! Sometimes I get annoyed with them, when they don’t act the way I think they should, for their age, but I have seen IMMENSE improvements in the last 6 or 9 months!!! Things have gotten better, and I am confident that they will continue to get even better!! How upset they were yesterday, after I explained how scared I was, that is an improvement too!! They were genuinely sorry for what they had done, and that is something new!

Meg is continuing to have accidents, but at this point I am seeing improvement there as well. I have started keeping track, at Megan’s request, the days that she is wet or dry. She did have an accident yesterday, but before that, it had been 2 days since her last accident!! I am keeping track of the nightime accidents as well, but I am not really concerned about those. After all, I was 10 before I stopped wetting the bed at night, and really it is a common occurance for children to have night time accidents at this age. During the day I try to remind her to go to the bathroom, in hopes that she will start “reminding” herself…I am getting better at remembering to remind, but still we deal with the times when I am sleeping (yes, I do sleep occasionally!! *LOL*). I will be ever so thankful when I am able to work from home!!

Okay, well, I’m sure this is much longer than many of you really wanted to read!! *LOL* But I know since you love me that you will endure my thoughtless ramblings! Have I ever told you how much you, my friends, mean to me?? Your support, encouragement, and advice are priceless!! The ears, and sometimes shoulders that you lend, they too are priceless, and held very dear in my heart!! I truly wouldn’t know what to do without you!! Life can be so very lonely at times, and scary too!! Knowing that I have you all to turn to, makes life a little bit easier!! I sincerely hope that I need not name names, in order for you to know that I am talking about you!!!

LOVE and HUGS to you all!!! I hope all is well with you and your families!!!