The girls decided tonight that they want seperate rooms….One of the main problems with this is the fact that we live in a two bedroom house. And I realize that they are never going to get everything they WANT in life, however I do see why they want their own rooms, and I can see benefits to them having their own rooms.
They would each be responsible for cleaning their own room, and could no longer blame the mess on the other one….It would also give them each a place of their own to go to. To Train Up A Child book says quite a bit about personal property, which right now, the girls have very few things that are just theirs, I’ve always given them joint presents, and whatever was theirs I’ve always MADE them share…with seperate rooms, they would have their own things in their own space, and could decide what they wanted to share and what they didn’t….Something the book suggested.
However, it leaves me without a room, which to me isn’t a big deal..I have considered putting my bed in the livingroom…Yes, I know that sounds strange, but I NEVER have anyone coming over to my house, so it wouldn’t be weird or anything…The girls see me sleeping all the time so it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for them to be playing around my bed as I sleep….
I don’t know what to do….I see ups and downs to them having their own room, and I see ups and downs to them continuing to share a room…..I don’t know what to do!!!!
What are your thoughts??
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3:00 pm
Sorry I haven’t been online much. I have felt so horrible, and even now, my sinuses are clogged up, and I am still coughing. But….. I did get your offline messages, so I wanted to come over and see what you asked….
My thoughts are that they need to stay in the same room. If you give them their own rooms and you no longer have one, it puts them above you, which is a great example of sacrifice on your part, but I don’t think it will take on them in that manner. Especially as a single parent, they need to respect you as an authority. You sleeping in the lr will not encourage that. Besides, with your sleeping hours, they will be disturbing you if they are in the kitchen or lr, and that is disrespectful, but it would then be unavoidable.
We have 2 children in each room, and 3 in one. Frankly, they aren’t in their rooms that much, and we have purged ourselves of the usual bedroom junk, like a million toys, etc. Ok, so, we still have some to pitch, but we don’t have much.
Our children spend most of their time with the rest of the family, unless they are reading their Bibles or reading a book. Amanda did have to do her algebra in her room in the quiet too.
The girls are so young, it should not be a big deal for them to share a room. They do not need their own space; if anything, they need to learn how to make due with less and get along with each other so they *want* to be together *all the time*! They do not want their own rooms to better your family or to put the other first. They want their own rooms for selfish reasons. Perhaps one should pick up after the other out of love, instead of worrying whose mess is whose. Maybe is they do that, then will see the value of picking up their own stuff so their sister isn’t burdened with it, after being burdened with picking up the others’.
This is totally about self, and I know your goal is not to teach them to put themselves first, but that is what they are doing.
So, stand strong, my friend, get advice from *MOMS*, and tell the girls how happy you are that God put you all in the same family, and that He wants them to be best friends! I have confidence in you! Your girls are awesome, and God is doing a great work in your family!
Love you, my friend!!
We *still* have your pkg. here!!! I hope to send it SOON!
blessings, and hug the girls for me from AuntieJ!
)
7:08 pm
Thanks Vicki, I hope that people can learn from that post.
I will get a post on courting done soon. I am backlogged for blog posts. Lol.
Ok, I will be praying for you about that.
Eric
7:13 pm
I also agree with Mrs. Dixon on your post
Eric
7:27 pm
My girls share a room. They are 15 and 7. The 15 year old would really like me to clean out the sewing room and let her have it. It is do-able, but I think it is better that they share. My three boys used to share a room and now they have their own and I wish I had kept them together.
I think that they need to learn to work as a team and get along with a roommate.
When I went to college I was in for a big surprise not having had to share for many years! Then came marriage. They will probably be married someday, do it is probably best to prepare them for sharing a room and working on keeping it nice together.
Also, you would be amazed how much more that little bit of work is for you… putting clean laundry in two different rooms instead of one and such!
One more point would be that they should honor you and put you above themselves. It is a good life experience to deny one’s self… especially to honor those in authority above us.
With all that said, they could have their own drawer or bin or shelf that is just their own to take personal accountability for.
They should also take responsibility for things in the home… overall, all of my children do all of the jobs, but there are certain zones that they know they are responsible for… for ex. my oldest daughter needs to keep the downstairs bathroom clean and the middle son does the upstairs bathroom. My oldest son is in charge of taking out the garbage and getting the mail. My youngest son is in charge of keeping the school room at the end of many school days (although that is often a joint effort) and my youngest daughter helps fold laundry and carry laundry upstairs all the time!
It gives them a sense of accomplishment, but in a team way. They are in charge of making something nice that everyone uses instead of perhaps selfishless guarding what they feel they are entitled too. Know what I mean?
Hope this makes sense. I am fighting a headache today.
Love and Prayers,
christina Brown
7:29 pm
I noticed lots of typos in rereading that… like I said I have a headache. YOu can probably figure out what I meant, but i esp. wanted to clarify in that last paragraph I meant selfishly not selfishless… is selfishless even a word? lol
9:09 pm
I have to agree with Jackie and Christina, hon…they put into words what I was having problems with the other night when you asked me….Thanks, ladies!!!
Love ya…