June 9th, 2007 -- Posted in Family News | No Comments »
Single life…..in some ways in seems much harder than when I was with someone, but in other ways, life doesn’t seem to have changed much….
I still have to do the majority of the housework, I still am the one with the job, I still have to bathe the girls, I still am the one actively involved in their life (making decisions concerning them, taking them to Girl Scouts, playing with them, etc), I still am the one to do the majority of the mowing (with the push mower)and weedeating…
On the other hand, I do have to cook a lot more than I used to….and as long as it was with a riding mower, he was more than happy to do the mowing. I am sure that there were other things that he did, around the house…but right now, when my house is a disaster, and I’ve just spent the last hour mowing and weedeating, I can’t seem to think of all that much….
I am covered head to toe with grass and weeds, I’m sweating like a stuck pig bleeds…I got up this morning feeling really aweful. My kids think I’m a horrible Mom, and sometimes I think the same thing. I was in tears again today…Megan wouldn’t listen, and Desiree, yes my 7 and a half year old, pee’d her pants because she didn’t want to leave the park….*sigh* Just hasn’t been another good day!!!
At times like these I wish there was someone to help….but when I look back on life, the men haven’t been much of a help….I am frustrated, and lonely for companionship, wishing for someone to help me with this life, this parenting that seems always bigger than what I can handle.
No, I’m not talking about a sitter, so I can take my mind off of things for a few hours, I’m talking about someone to care for the kids on the mornings I feel like cr*p, or to give them a shower just once, so I don’t have to worry about getting that done. Someone to show me what I’m doing wrong with the kids, or at least someone to hold me when I’m crying and share in my frustration of the parenting mishaps.
The weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I’m feeling overwelmed and snowed under…God help me, I need it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
