Vicki’s Blog

I can see the advantages of rv camping, but me, I’m more of a tent, or under the stars kind of camper. Although that has it’s drawbacks too!! *LOL* Like the time we went camping and it snowed! *LOL* We were freezing!! *LOL* Wouldn’t expect that for late March or early April, but yep, northern Nevada…We still had fun though, although we did cut the trip short when the weather continued to be cold. After we got home, we heard the weather had changed, and it was sunny and warm up there, but oh well.

Working at Blue Cross NC had it’s ups and downs as with most jobs. It was an okay job really, it paid the bills and that’s what was most important to her. After all, she did have her kids to support. She had never gotten any support from their biological father, but she didn’t want it really. The thing that hurt the most is that because of choices she had made in her life, she no longer got much if any support from her family.

Life continues, through the hard times, and through the good. Some good, nice, and happy things have been happening lately, which helps me get through the bad and hard times. However things are more stressful than ever!

I still have not been able to find a job. A job is not what I want, but I don’t see a way around it. Many people do not seem to understand the desire to stay home, a job, a career seems to be what society measures success by, but I just don’t feel that. I want to be able to stay home with my kids, to be here always for them, to keep house, to do all those things that seem to slip by me when I’m working. I think it’s hard for other people to understand being a single parent as well. You don’t always have the option of requesting days off to attend school programs or such things, you don’t always have the option of the days off work that you want, or to work the hours that you want, so that you can spend the time you want with the kids. Sometimes you don’t always have the option of the babysitter that you really like, or even the option to take a day off when you’re sick, because you simply can’t afford to. People don’t even, in my opinion, know how stressful and desparate you feel when you are out of work. Oh, I know that 2 parent households feel financial strain too, but when you are the only one, and then you have no job, it’s scary, stressful, and even heart-breaking in a way. You wonder what is to become of your family, because you don’t have money to pay rent, or the electric bill, let alone to take your kids out to ice cream once in awhile, or be able to pay for swimming lessons, or any of the other things that you want to do for your child, but just can’t.

Being a parent is hard, whether you are single or not, but I truly believe that it’s at least 10 times harder when you know that you are alone in your parenting. You have no one to vent your frustrations to, or someone to cry on their shoulder when you are just so stressed because you don’t know how you’re going to keep a roof over your children’s heads. You have no one to help you take out the trash, or cook once in awhile, or run an errand for you. It’s all on you, and it’s hard.

Since childhood I’ve always wanted to play piano, but never had the opportunity to learn. I can’t even say that I’d have any real talent for it, as I’m not really the artistic type, but I love music so much that I had dreams of making my own music. Silly childhood dreams I suppose, but it’s always been close to my heart. Des has taken an interest in singing, another love of mine though I only sing at home. I’m kind of hoping that one of the girls takes an interest in music, because I love it so much, but if they don’t it’s okay. I will help them pursue their dreams to the best of my ability.

She couldn’t count the times when someone had tried to use colon cleanse products as a way around treatment. She couldn’t say she blamed them, and they were good products in their own right, but when you needed something more, well then you needed something more. She didn’t like have treatments or procedures done any more than anyone else, even though she was a Doctor herself, but to care for ones one health was important, not to deny that there was something wrong.

She would be ever so grateful always for the first life insurance lead that she had gotten years ago. Insurance wasn’t her dream, but it did pay the bills, and that’s what was important at this point. She had never known what she wanted to do, what she wanted to be, so she had kind of floated along for awhile, until the insurance job. She had been there for years now, and she was good enough at it that she could pay her bills, and still have some money for extras, which was always nice.

That seems to be the topic of the day, but it’s what has been on my mind of late. I just did an entry about it over at my Winter Lilies blog too. Anyway, it’s not really that I’ve been so busy, though I’ve had plenty to do, I just lost the excitement and ferver of sharing tidbits of my life on these blogs. I am going to try and get back to blogging a bit more regularly, and yes, with personal entries instead of book reviews and other entries.

Meg’s birthday was the past Monday….*sigh*…so hard to think that my baby is 8 now. She’s a beautiful girl, inside and out. She brings me so many smiles, hugs and joy. A true light in my life!! We are planning to have a birthday party for her this coming Sunday. This past Sunday was my cousin’s high school graduation, so he didn’t want to share his day with Meg’s birthday…*LOL*..Can’t really blame him!! Wow, only a few days away, guess I better get ready with the preparations, making sure everyone is invited, will probably just get a cake on my way up to where we are celebrating.

After Meg’s party, with any luck I’ll be going out with my Aunt and cousins, whom I call Mom, and bros and sis’s, for an evening of fun. We planned this a couple of weeks ago, so I’m hoping all is still a go…just have to make sure my Dad or Uncle will watch the girls for me. It’s not often that I go anywhere without the girls, but it is fun once in awhile to have an all adult get together…

Well anyway, that’s my plans for right now….*HUGS* to you all.

The hair loss treatments advertisements piqued his interest. It’s not so much that he minded the receding hair-line, but more the fact that he was afraid of getting older. It was not something that he had excepted yet, thinking that he was only liked and loved for the way he looked, or all that he could do, without the addition of “for a man of your age”. That sentence always irked him, probably because he still liked to believe that he was numero uno, and not just in his age category.

The diagnosis mesothelioma was a shock. But one way or another she would get through this, she was sure of that, confident of that. She was a strong person, and she would not let this get the best of her, she would fight, as she’s always fought. She would win, simply because for her there was no other option. She took a deep breath as she left the Dr’s office, and felt better for giving herself the pep talk.

The Samsonite luggage was packed and setting by the door when he walked in. It was a suprise, and not at all unexpected at the same time.

“Going somewhere?” he asked when he found her in the kitchen.

“Yes, I’m going home to the ranch for awhile.” she said “My plane leaves in acouple of hours.

“You might have told me about this sooner you know.” He said.

“You know this was coming just as I did.” she replied. “I need time. We both need time to get through this.”